It was one of those days you remember. It was a Tuesday; stuff seems to happen on a Tuesday, do you ever notice that?

He came into town on a Tuesday. Tall and lean, sitting high in the saddle with a gun on his hip that looked custom made not like the K-Mart ones the rest of us wore cause that’s all we could afford.

He stopped outside Benny’s Wellabarraback café, looked around and ran into the Barney the town drunk.

“Sorry, Mister,” said Barney, “I didn’t see you there.”

“Got a bank in this town?” the stranger asked.

“Ah don’t rob it, Mister, I got all my savings in there and it ain’t much cause I’m not much you know.”

The stranger looked down on Barney and pushed him out of the way as he made his way into the café.

“I’ll have a half-strength skim latte on soy,” he said to Gladys the girl barista. “Oh and make it hot, not luke warm, I hate my coffee luke warm.”

“Yes Sir,” answered Gladys as she set to work.

The café door opened and there appeared the wide frame of Lester Ley, the town Mayor.

“Mr Suddubsome I believe, welcome to Weelabarraback. We are honoured to have you here with us.”

“You got my money? I don’t start work until I see the colour of your dollars.”

“Got it right here,” replied the Mayor handing over a brown envelope.

“Good man,” said Suddubsome, “Now, who we got to deal with first?”

“Well I’ve written out a list, and if you’d be so kind as to do each one discretely, I’d appreciate it as we don’t like a lot of noise and fuss in this town.”

“That’s a long list; you really got this many grievances?”

“Oh, there’s some low life’s in this town. A good clean out is what it needs. Now, do you think you could have the job done by mid-day tomorrow?”

“I’ll have it done by midnight tonight. You haven’t got the Undertaker on this list have you; we might be needing him.”

“No, no he’s one of the few upstanding men in the district. Invaluable to the town.”

Suddubsome sipped the last of his coffee and got up to leave. “Might have a word with your town drunk, he’ll give me a feel for the place.”

“I would waste my time on him, most of the time he doesn’t know what day it is.”

“Then he’s my kind a guy.”

Several hours later, Suddubsome knocked on the Mayors office door.

“You were right, Barney doesn’t know what day it is, but he does know the dirt on you.”

Several hours later, the Undertaker came to the Mayor’s door. He was a grim sort of man in a very grim sort of way. A tape measure slung over his shoulder; he began the work an undertaker does.

Suddubsome, money in pocket, rode out of town, content he had put in a good days work, and it was still Tuesday.

Written for: https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2020/09/17/tale-weaver-293-making-sense-of-nonsense-17th-september-suddubsome/