My aged companion, Crisp, and I were standing by the canal that meandered its way through the village.
“When I was sixteen I went on a ‘romantic’ date with Toby Felch, our towns heart-throb. We went rowing, and as we went along, he regaled me with river stories. At the time, I was more terrified of falling into the river than of him, and so I tuned out to his drone of a voice.
He was telling me, as we approached the bridge over the river, that tradition said if you kissed your loved one as you went under the bridge, it ensured a wholesome and fruitful life. The next thing I knew Toby’s large bulky form landed on top of me. I began thrashing about repulsed by his rotten fish smelling breath.
The next thing I knew we were in the river, my greatest fear realised. I went home soaked, embarrassed and thankfully aware Toby would never ask me out again.