Crisp my aged companion was fascinated by the sign suggesting the world’s biggest spiders web.
“You realise,” I said, “a huge web means a huge spider.”
“Don’t be so silly,” she said.
Just at that minute, Crisp felt a hairy arm touch her shoulder and springing round saw what she thought was the leg of a huge spider.
She was off.
“Run!” she screamed, “don’t stand there, you fool, run!”
Crisp could move quickly in times of crisis.
“Don’t stop you gormless fool,” she screeched at me, “you’ll be bitten, and then you’ll know it.”
Crisp kept looking back, expecting the spider to be tracking her down. At the same time, she checked her watch, looking for the bus and recounting the myriad of spider stories in her past.
Laughing as I was didn’t help the situation and when finally, I waved the piece of grandfather’s whiskers* at her did she do what I knew she was capable of, uttered an expletive worthy of any working man.
* Grandfather’s Whiskers.