Wordle #143 – Fred Scream

wordle-143

This week’s words: Who Are You,  Break Apart  Water Anosmic- absence or loss of the sense of smell  Stripes  Scream  Shovel  Barmecidal- giving only the illusion of plenty; illusory:  Station Help Converge Specific

Fred Scream always knew it was a quirk of fate that he would grow up to be a professional assassin. There was something alluring in the potential to have his victims scream before he completed his assigned task.

Though it didn’t work out that way. Fred was basically incompetent. The wrong person was targeted, he couldn’t read coordinates and often ended up in the wrong location. Added to that he had a most unfortunate speech issue for when he was startled, and that happened often he would utter, “who are you, who are you” always twice which wasn’t in keeping with the professional etiquette of the assassin’s guild.

This would usually give the initiative to his targets who would delight in breaking apart Fred’s anatomy and then throw him into a pool of water and if there was one thing Fred disliked it was getting wet. He found it most undignified.

The result of the beatings he incurred was he was basically anosmic which came to be a real burden as he was forced to decline jobs that required him to sniff out suspects and dispose of them.

To compensate he assumed the illusion of being Barmecidal, extravagance was his way of hiding his incompetence. He took to wearing stripes of all colours and combinations, he sought help from the gurus of fashion, anything that might lift his profile.

He was specific in his job description, such that his last job was at the train station and required him to put an end to the dodgy life of Sven the grave digger who was known to be running a suspect operation involving cheap shovels at discount prices. As the train converged on the station, Sven met it in an unsuspecting way.

Fred wiped his hands and walked away, adjusting his suit and tipping his hat to the ladies who stood by in shock, one of whom uttered: “Who are you?”

 

 

Written for: https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2019/07/22/wordle-143/

This entry was posted in Uncategorized, Writing prompt and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Wordle #143 – Fred Scream

  1. Fred really has to find a different line of work..nice humor

  2. crimsonprose says:

    Crazy. I love it. Well done. Humorous, without being roll-in-the-aisle chuckle-some. 🙂

  3. Who knew the tale of an assassin could be so amusing! Great job

  4. raised a smile and a chuckle Michael.

  5. Jules says:

    An interesting tale given the Wordle list. The names people have… Just going into a phone book can be fun to hunt down odd names. And then you do wonder about their professions 🙂

  6. the real cie says:

    Fred the inept assassin–I like it!

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