“You stupid sap,” said the frog to my left. I’d been sitting on the lily pad in a state of bewilderment when I heard the voice.
“You fell for the helpless old lady did you?”
“Yes,” I croaked
“And it turned out to be your mother-in-law?”
“Yes,” I replied feeling more forlorn than ever.
“You’ll get used to it here though it’s the flies that are an acquired taste. But it’s a matter of a fly or starvation.”
My mind went back in time. It was pleasing on the one hand that I did remember. What I remembered was not so pleasant.
I’d answered a knock on the door, and upon opening it, I found a little old lady, bent over and looking down at the floor. She was clearly a septuagenarian, the badge on her brown cardigan said so.
She said she had the elixir of life and I had been chosen as the only recipient in my street.
It made sense to me, as I was about to be married to the love of my life and my health was not all it could have been.
She said all I needed was a sip each morning and teaspoon at supper time and I’d never look back.
And she was correct. I sipped, and I supped, and I even sopped it with a piece of bread and look at me now, unable to look back unless I turn around and on a lily pad that can be dangerous.
I awoke one morning sitting on my pillow unable to understand what had happened when she re-appeared in my room, and I realised it was my future mother-in-law who took hold on me and dumped me here.
She said, ”Now you’ll never get your hands on my daughter, you useless piece of pond scum. So here I am, pond scum in every way.”
“Don’t worry,” said the sympathetic frog, “I had the same thing said to me when I tried to marry her daughter and come September it will be three years a frog.”
“I feel so wretched, is this all there is now?”
“No the flies come round about midday, but you must be careful to stay on your lily pad and not get too close to the edge, the cats can be very dextrous.”
“Goodness,” I heard my mouth say as my tongue instinctively shot out to grab a passing fly, and my taste buds reacted violently.