This week’s words: Cantankerous candle torpedo oily buffet badmash* (a hooligan) ruler lighthouse wild melancholy pertinent personal
It could never be said that Miss Marble, witch, of 46 Grimace Street was in any way a cantankerous or wild woman. Though you could be forgiven thinking her longevity may well have addled her mind in some way.
In actual fact, she was one of the most personable people you might ever hope to meet. Quite amazing really when you consider the number of fools she must have suffered during her lifetime.
One such was Barnaby Leadbetter, the lighthouse keeper. Barnaby had a reputation as a badmash back in the day when Miss Marble was setting out on her life journey in witchcraft.
Having learned so much from her mother before she passed away, Miss Marble quickly earned herself a name throughout the village in which she lived and as such attracted the attention of many a fair-minded youth. She also attracted the attention a very impertinent Barnaby who considered himself God’s gift to women and put Miss Marble in his sights.
Barnaby had an oily personality, most women felt it immediately he came near them and would torpedo his affections, if that’s what they were.
Barnaby thought he had a plan to invite Miss Marble to the village fair, entertain her in the buffet tent and if all went well, he would emerge by night’s end the ruler of one Miss Marble, eligible spinster and witch. What a catch he thought to himself.
He set about to do all he could to impress her. Bought her scented candles and wowed her with sea-faring tales, most of which he made up, after all, there is only so much you can see from a lighthouse.
Miss Marble knew about Barnaby and decided to play along with him, after all, she was young, at the time and enjoyed his attentions. But prior to her leaving for the fair had provided herself with an anti-fool potion and just as Barnaby thought he had her in his web of charm Miss Marble became incredibly smelly, her mood changed, her cantankerousness multiplied, and she made some of the most impertinent remakes ever heard in mixed company.
Barnaby was shattered and returned home struck down by an overwhelming melancholy that kept him indoors for quite some time.
Miss Marble, on the other hand, went home, scented candles in hand and downed a restorative potion immediately returning her to her usual happy and contented self.