Reena’s Exploration Challenge #Week 43 – In Death


When it all comes down to it, we don’t have a lot of say in what might be written about us or what might be inscribed on our tombstone, if we have one.

I remember asking my dad if there was anything he particularly wanted on his headstone and his reply was, “Well no, you can decide that, after all, I think I’ll have other things to think about.”

I’m sure when the time comes my children will think of something to say about me. They are good at recall, they often sit around the table at family dinners have a wonderful time remembering me as a father and how they ‘suffered’ having me as their dad.

Thankfully it is all in good fun.

Then again, I don’t intend to be buried. I’ve told them to cremate me and then find somewhere appropriate to spread my ashes, for example down the back yard would be fine.

They would hold me in good stead in their own ways. I don’t like memorials all that much. If you go to your cemeteries you see so many neglected graves, the generations have moved on, the dead are forgotten or remembered in passing as great grandmother or father.

Death sends us into history. We cease to be present, we become memories, good and bad and we have no say in ultimately what might be said about us.

It would be nice to think we did enough to be remembered fondly.


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11 Responses to Reena’s Exploration Challenge #Week 43 – In Death

  1. Multiple death posts. Are you doing okay? Or is it just a phase of writing ideas?

  2. Reena Saxena says:

    We sometimes use ‘writing your own obit’ in coaching to help people summarize their lives, and more importantly identify the core values. Beyond that point, I see it as a sign of vanity. A viewer who does not know the context in which it was written, will not understand the spirit. The kith and kin might do something to fulfil a social role, and get on with their lives after the mourning period is over.

    Legacies which are remembered, are inventions or something that added value to other people’s lives at a particular point. My own life will cease to matter.

    Thanks for your contribution, Michael!

  3. Indira says:

    So true, we are not to know what people about us after death, still we care enough and want to be remembered in high spirit. Excellent post.

  4. My own father planned to die on a Thursday night so, in his words, “I can be taken away with the rest of the rubbish on Friday morning.” He was something of a fatalist.

    On the other hand, when the topic of conversation turned to his own death he would begin his reply with, “Well ….. on that melancholy day …..”

  5. Pingback: Reena’s Exploration Challenge #Week 44 – Reena Saxena

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