Inspector Onthejob looked around the coffee stained crime scene and immediately knew there were clues looking at him.
The barista with a kitchen knife in his back and his entire body covered in coffee pointed to a crime of passion.
Coffee lovers were like that he reflected. If it wasn’t made right, then you had an unhappy customer and that always spelt trouble.
It was unusual though for a dispute to rise to this level of violence.
A check of the mornings coffee orders pointed to a flat white as the likely culprit. How could you get that wrong Onthejob wondered? Coffee with milk wasn’t it?
His long time offsider in crime-busting Beryl Bythejob, or BB to her close friends was a coffee buff having read the definitive text, “The Perfect Cup of Joe” ten times over the years and was often berating Onthejob for his lack of worldly knowledge, especially his not drinking coffee which she considered God’s wake up call.
The chief suspect was soon identified as Jerry Stuckinthejob, a disgruntled employee of a business three doors from the coffee shop. With the crime scene now secured and the forensics people doing their thing uncovering clues, Onthejob and BB ventured down the street to Darcy Offthejobs Offset Printing business and discovered that Jerry had gone home, even more, disgruntled than ever.
A patrol car was dispatched, and Jerry was soon in cuffs at the station and looking his disgruntled self. He denied any knowledge of the incident at the coffee shop despite his clothes being stained with the obvious signs and smell of coffee.
Onthejob laid the heavy on him while BB laid the heavier on him and soon the pressure was so great Jerry confessed. His flat white had a ridge in it, and he wasn’t having any truck with that accusing the barista of incompetence. From that point, everything went downhill until Jerry in a fit of anger grabbed the kitchen knife and inserted it where he should not. With the barista on the ground, he poured the hot coffee over the dying man and then left satisfied he’d made his point.
Onthejob and BB finalised the paperwork after Jerry had been charged and taken away. BB announced she was going to the coffee shop this time for a latte and would Onthejob like to come with her.
He accepted thinking a hot chocolate would be a fine way to wind down. Little did he know that BB, with her eye lids fluttering, was planning to seduce Onthejob by offering him a taste of her delicious triple skim, low-fat latte.