I find this a very challenging task.
For me, a core belief is thinking I want to be the person I am.
Which of course is open to interpretation.
I say this as my perception of me is one thing, what others see is something very different.
To anyone reading this, all you see are the words on my page. You come to a conclusion based on what you read. You have no inkling of the physical being writing this.
Whereas my children see me in the flesh, faults and flaws all out there for them to see. And yet they still love me. Remarkable isn’t it.
But to me I decided long ago now that I am who I am, I can’t change my past, I can move on and live as best I can.
I choose to live an isolated life, my circle of friends is very small mainly because of life traumas that send me scurrying like a hermit crab back into my shell.
Being who I am means being wary of other people, not trusting them and being content in my small world.
I only trust a few people, as they allow me to be who I am and accept me for that.
As my best friend says to me on this subject: “You can take me or d.”
Written for: https://mindlovemisery.wordpress.com/2018/02/25/sunday-writing-prompt-243-core-beliefs/
sorry you’ve had it so tough Michael … healing begins with forgiving and real living means taking risks again!
I empathise with your mistrust of people I call it discernment and good common sense. If you want a quality life you have to keep it small. People are flawed. “Flawed” that is a euphemism for sh..s. If you know good folk then you have been blessed. Count yourself as one of the fortunate few.
Thank you Cressida, I do appreciate your encouraging words.
I have had my share of traumas too so I understand how hard it can be to trust people. For a while I tried to be more active socially but I just never really felt like myself, I even changed for the worse! Though the experience did give me some perspective and perhaps got me on the right course despite the mess it made of my life in the process. I prefer a small group of friends too what is the point of having a large group of acquaintances that you can’t and don’t want to fit into your life? Quality over quantity!
yes i agree with you, thanks for the comment, we are what we are and I think we have to recognise that and not allow people try to ‘change’ us as that often, in my case pushes us further in isolation.
I know what you mean Michael. The past does indeed makes us what we are today, and I certainly learned a lot from mine, as I screwed up on more than one occasion.
We can’t change the past, but as Hubby says, our past started the day we met and that’s all that matters to him. Yesterday we were chatting about previous friends in our ‘before each other’ time, and mine all had one thing in common, they took advantage of my good nature! Made me wary and cynical, so I’d back away and blend in with the woodwork rather than trust anyone. I was a mess when we first met, but he loves me anyway. I am extremely lucky to have him in my life.
Thanks Di, I have always thought your Hubby was a pretty good bloke…so yes you are lucky.
I know. 🙂
One good friend is gold Michael, we don’t need too many. I am quite a social person but behind it all I get my strength from being at home, door closed, yer man around if I need him and my children somewhere in the house. I also love solitude. Walking alone, thinking to myself and enjoying this beautiful place where I live.
Those moments keep me sane, heal me when necessary and put petrol in my tank for what lies ahead in any day.
Thanks that sounds good to me Tric. Lucky you I say.
It’s been quite a journey!
Would you have it any other way?
Michael, in this life journey one goes through many phases, and right now you are in contentment stage with your treasured people. I would say valuing the treasure is more important than running for more. And your belief is so connected with all.
Liked reading your perspective 🙂
Cheers
MeenalSonal from AuraOfThoughts
Thank you so much, I very much appreciate your encouragement.