Sunday Writing Prompt #225 – Know Thyself

abstract-portrait-face-lines-color

You look at me like you know I should say something, but I know you know and so what is there to say?

Caught with my hand in the lolly jar, wasn’t I?

Down by the river, there’s a place just under the weeping willows where I go. I like to go there because it’s my place.

I can be alone with myself, and that’s not a bad thing you know.

Being alone I mean.

Alone you can conquer the world, be its greatest lover, climb mountains and be someone.

Sometimes it would be nice to be someone.

Not a fool.

You see me as a fool don’t you.

Always stuffing up, calling you to get me out of one situation or another.

You must be sick of me by now.

But I know you’ll say I’m family and it’s what we do for family.

How come no one ever calls me then?

We both know why.

I’m the pathetic brother, aren’t I?

Drunk, homeless. A wastrel I once heard you call me.

And I am. It’s easier that way.

No responsibility.

No care.

No hope.

I think every time you are going to come around, drag me out of the shit hole I am in and say: “This is the last time. Piss off and fend for yourself.”

I have tried. Pissing off I mean.

But I keep coming back.

Why is that?

I hate being who I am.

Most days I want the world to swallow me up.

But I keep coming back.

The family pantry is never unstocked.

I keep coming back.

I can’t say more than I have.

I keep coming back.

Like a fool, I only know one story.

If I repeat it often enough, will I begin to believe it?

I’m kidding myself I know.

I’m who I am, I know that, and you know that.

Pathetic isn’t it.

 

Written for: https://mindlovemiserysmenagerie.wordpress.com/2017/10/22/sunday-writing-prompt-225-know-thyself/

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20 Responses to Sunday Writing Prompt #225 – Know Thyself

  1. I enjoyed this, Michael.

  2. willowdot21 says:

    This brought me to tears. Honestly from the heart… It hurt. 💜

  3. You entered a dark place to write this.

  4. scribblersdip says:

    Wow – what a powerful story you’ve penned here Michael. I like the flow, the way you’ve written it, the line breaks reinforcing the strength of the words. It’s a cohesive piece and it resonates with the angst and turmoil that can grip someone, as well as a certain, “laissez faire” (let it be, it is what it is) attitude. And I’m lingering over the gripping lines, like:

    Down by the river, there’s a place just under the weeping willows where I go. I like to go there because it’s my place.
    I can be alone with myself, and that’s not a bad thing you know.
    Being alone I mean.
    Alone you can conquer the world, be its greatest lover, climb mountains and be someone.
    Sometimes it would be nice to be someone.
    Not a fool.

    Absolutely stellar. Holds you tight in the energy. Wonderfully written and thought about for this week’s Sunday Writing prompt Michael! Thoroughly enjoyed your piece. Thanks for playing this week, and I hope your weekend ends with some rest (perhaps the reno is finished?) and that you have a most wonderful week to come 🙂

    • Michael says:

      Thanks Pat, this one was a challenge but in keeping with Lear, which is my favourite Shakespeare play simply because of its complexity I tried a monologue in Lear style…

      • scribblersdip says:

        totally worked too 🙂 and how wonderful that this turned out to be about your fave Shakes. play!

  5. Vivian Zems says:

    Quite introspective. I liked this.

Please feel free to comment, I appreciate your thoughts.

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