FFfAW Challenge-Week of May 16, 2017 – An Ice-Blocks Chance.

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Image: loniangraphics

“You’ve an ice-blocks chance in hell of me ever loving you,” she said as we sat sipping on our iced tea. “I mean,” she went on, “if you were in any way attractive there’d be a case to make but as you are as ugly as a hat full of arseholes there’s not much that can be said.”

Needless to say, there was a silence following her last statement. She slurped her drink down through her straw and looked out over the bay as if her mind like her body was imagining itself on the deck of a distant yacht.

“So why are you here?” I asked, my voice now resounding like a cracked cup of marshmallows.

“Well, you did ask. You did ring and say can we have a drink at the café. I’m not totally rude you know. I do know to be polite.”

There was more silence before she said. “Well if that is it, I’m off. She stood and as she left mentioned I needed to work on my people skills.

 

Written for: https://flashfictionforaspiringwriters.wordpress.com/2017/05/15/fffaw-challenge-week-of-may-16-2017/

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34 Responses to FFfAW Challenge-Week of May 16, 2017 – An Ice-Blocks Chance.

  1. Leaking Ink says:

    Can we please rewind and upturn that drink on her head?

  2. At least she’s honest, right? Great story!

  3. Iain Kelly says:

    What a charming lady! I think he’s better off without her.

  4. Who says women are charming? Definitely not this one. Wonderfully written, Michael.

  5. How rude! She is the one that needs work on her people skills! I was hoping he would get some revenge in the end. LOL! Great story Michael!

  6. MC Clark says:

    If that is her idea of polite, I would hate to see rude. 🙂

  7. I hope he plans a quiet revenge someday. I would hate to see her get away with treating people like this.

  8. James says:

    He probably offered to pay for the drink. She’s rude and cheap.

  9. michael1148humphris says:

    What did he ever see in her. She should come with a health warning, [advoid at all costs]

  10. Joy Pixley says:

    Oh my, what a winner she is! I’ve had similar conversations with the conceited male version of that type, and yes, your character is better off without her!

  11. Lynn Love says:

    What a delight she is! Must say, your ‘arseholes’ line had me snorting, though. Great tale Michael

  12. milliethom says:

    I hope he now realises what a horribly self-centred woman she is! Polite and tactful don’t seem to feature in her life. I hope he now sees her for what she is and moves on. There are many lovely, kindhearted people in this world of ours. (I love the line ‘my voice now resounding like a cracked cup of marshmallows’.) Great story, Michael.

    • Michael says:

      Thanks Millie, I did enjoy exploring the character and thinking I’d hate to actually meet anyone like this, but they do exist out there, sad to say…then again maybe I have been reading far too much Pratchett of late.

  13. Ameena k.g says:

    Hahah,a ohh you got me chuckling at the absurdity of her last statement. I love this! To the man, “good riddance”, it’s a good thing she left.

    • Michael says:

      Thanks so much I’m glad you caught the absurd nature of the piece, I think if I kept going one of them would have been wearing the others meal…

  14. I really enjoyed this. It is so genuine in its feeling. I think there are people like both of these, in each of our lives. I felt it.
    The Snow
    Annie at ~McGuffy’s Reader~

  15. Singledust says:

    she sounds really full of herself, I would love to imagine her tripping as she left the place!

  16. What an uppity lady. She needs to be reduced by several pegs.

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