Image: Hans Thoma
It was a terrible shock when the Hanson twins were killed by the monitor lizard. The family were on holiday, and it was all over in seconds.
Needless to say, the lizard suffered an inglorious death, and all three turned up at the pearly gates awaiting ‘judgement’ and delivery.
The children in death were as fascinated by the lizard as they were when alive and the lizard suddenly aware of a change in its circumstances puzzled over why it was standing there surrounded by creatures with wings and the eternal racket of hymn singing.
Being the innocents, they were it was decided, by those who know these things, that the best place for them would be heaven. The lizard looked forlorn when the children were admitted, and they asked if the lizard could come with them as they knew it had no friends anywhere, but with them.
Heaven, of course, was a place where if you weren’t into endless hymn singing, eternity for you wasn’t going to be all you hoped for.
The children being children weren’t very interested in hymn singing or finding ways to heap eternal praise on the God who had created and allowed them in. Rather they were more interested in their new friend and pet. They spent a lot of their time wandering around trying to see what there was for a very large lizard to eat.
The lizard being carnivorous presented a problem as heaven was not renowned for its supply of game or anything that resembled meat save the curious ham sandwiches which seemed to appear at the oddest times. The sandwiches were very good, and everyone enjoyed them but occasionally there were cries of “Where can I get a decent sushi?” These queries were always answered in hush tones of, ‘Down there, was where you’d have to go.” So after much rolling of the eyes, it became clear that no one would take up the suggestion but simply spend their eternity craving what they knew was there but out of reach.
The lizard, of course, discovered the ham sandwich was a delicious everyone else said and devoured many. It grew to like the life in heaven. Its primal urge to eat the children was satisfied by the constant supply of ham sandwiches, and so it found following them around all day and indulging in their desire to please it was as close to heaven as a predator such as it was could hope for.
Each week the children along with the lizard attended harp lessons given by the Angel Harpie. He was very good and was happy to have the children stand around and watch him play as he quickly learned the children were not in the least interested in the holy harp and were tone deaf to boot.
And so as eternity tends to do, it stretched out in front of the children, who were happy to play with their lizard who in turn was happy to play with the children rather than eat them.
Written for: https://janedougherty.wordpress.com/2017/03/05/sunday-strange-microfiction-prompt/
Morpethroad 
Loved the sideways references to Wayne and Greg and the food – and what a creative tale/tail – from start to finish Michael 🙂
Certainly introduced the odd lizard and gave him a starring role, which explains why he’s knocking on heaven’s door 😉
Well as you know Pat, many come a knocking on heavens door but not all gain entry…..lol….glad you enjoyed this one, there is always so much that can be said…
indeed, many are left wandering in the parking lot 😉
Or waiting for the bus to Hell’s Kitchen…lol
LOL – you do know about the t.v. show, right? now I have visions of chef Gordon Ramsey wandering through and commenting on the ham sandwiches and sushi!
I was tempted to give the lizard a name, what do you think?
LOL – oh yeah – and that would so work! I can see “whatever” becoming a new regular feature in that whole shebang!
I was going to call him Tonto
HAHAHA – LOVE IT! Dead brilliant!
Hmm might see how it looks
I’m sure you’ll know if it’s the right fit or not! 😉 Let the angels guide you 😉
They’ve told me to leave it alone, giving the lizard a name makes the relationship between the twins and the lizard uneven….
LOL …. whatever works, and I’m guessing they know best 😉
A complete smiler of a tale/tail (to quote). I too liked the reference to Greg and Wayne. And, now I have an image of Gordon Ramsey . . . Argh! I prefer the twins and the lizard.
Thank you Lorraine
Loved this story, Michael! I didn’t get the references to the TV shows which makes your story (I think) all the richer. I couldn’t help but carry the story on in my head though, with the lizard finally getting sick of ham sandwiches and eating the Harpie Angel, for which he was banished from heaven, provoking a revolt of all the children and tone deaf lead by the terrible twins, and we all know where these things lead…
Thanks for that lovely comment Jane…not sure what TV shows you think I’m referring to, or other comments are about but the mention of Wayne and Greg are two characters I invented and thru a series of stories have explored their relationship as representatives of heaven and hell.
I misunderstood. If I see TV mentioned, I know it won’t have much meaning if it’s after the mid 80s 🙂