Badge by Doobster @Mindful Digressions
This week’s prompt word is ‘Ready’
Ready, set go!
Push, push baby, push
I can’t do it.
Yes you can.
No I can’t. You bastard you did this to me.
Its what we always wanted my love.
Right now I want your head on a platter.
Come on baby just one more.
Fuck off.
It has to come out.
Well you take over, you have it.
You know that isn’t going to happen.
Well it can stay there.
If you don’t let it out they’ll cut it out.
They will.
Great bring it on.
But you were adamant it had to be all natural.
I’m an idiot; no one said it would be this painful.
Come on lets surprise the nurse by having it half over before the she comes back.
You’re a moron aren’t you. How did I ever let you talk me into this?
It was your idea. You kept badgering me.
I did no such thing.
Yes you did, come on Roger my little dodger get it up, let’s do it this once while I’m at my most……
Yeah yeah…shut up its all gone too far. I wanna go home.
You can’t go home.
I wanna call the whole off, I can if I want and you can’t stop me.
You think so?
I’m in charge of my body. If I wanna stop I can.
Oh baby look what’s happening!
It better be a guy in speedos delivering me a stiff drink.
Oh baby look what’s just popped out.
Obviously not you.
I hope you are ready for this?
Ready for what?
Oh look its little Roger junior.
Show me! Oh look at him. He is so cute. I made this baby. He’s mine.
Yes my love you made him.
Oh look the poor little bugger’s got your nose.
And your eyes.
Yes, I love him Roger, lets call him Frank.
What?
He’s a Frank.
What about Roger Junior.
What about it?
But…..
Frank are you ready for this life, I’m ready, your father’s in a bit of shock, but I’m ready.
Written for: http://lindaghill.com/2015/07/31/the-friday-reminder-and-prompt-for-socs-august-115/
Morpethroad 
This is pretty much how I envision my offspring will come into the world if I ever reproduce.
Well I hope you record it to see how close I am to reality.
My ex was really miffed when during the birth of my second son the dr and I engaged in a discussion of TS Eliot’s poetry.
LOL as you do, Michael 😀
If it ever happens I will most certainly blog about it. I think talking about poetry at any occasion is pretty cool.
LOL speaking with authority are we Michael? I remember it so well, only I was there on my own — all three times. “He” arrived after the event, the coward 🙂
When my friend had her third child, she screamed at the poor doctor, “It’s all Eve’s fault!!”
I think we would all have some funny birthing tales…..my ex did want to call it all off at one stage…lol…..I was there for all my kids, even got to cut the cord a couple of times…..my wife’s Gyno considered we knew more than most about childbirth having been thru it a few times…
I was there, three years ago, when my nephew was born. Not at all like I remember it.
🙂
Every one does it different….thanks so much for stopping by….
LOL … nothing like wanting to call it off at the last minute … they say that you forget everything after the baby is born …. don’t believe ’em – it’s just that the reward of the little loves is more potent than pain 🙂
So true Georgia, thanks so much for visiting and your comment.
A very funny read … glad I had some extra time to be able to drop by 🙂
So close to reality. Loved this. The natural way went out the window. “GIVE ME THE EPIDURAL AND KILL THIS MAN” is a quote from my perspective.
Yes I recall that statement being uttered a few times too…..then again I can’t blame women going down that path…..
I know I wouldn’t like it.
The only birthing I’ve assisted at were with piglets and kittens. My mother maintains she was in labour for more than 24 hours. My dad left the country. Seriously.
Great story. Could go many ways.
Lol…childbirth has all sorts of effects on people but leaving the country isn’t one I’ve heard before…..thanks for that enlightening comment.
Army (now Armed Forces) response to “my wife. . .,” or was it all my father’s idea to get stationed to Germany. At a very appropriate time?
Surely not…lol…..didn’t he long to change those baby diapers…or nappies as we’d say?
Haha! Lovely. Well done, Michael. 😀
I’ve had a little experience in this Linda. Thanks for stopping by.
It certainly sounds like this was a “write what you know” sort of deal. 🙂
Yes very much so.
Ha – Love it!
My hubs was there for 2 of 3 kids. He didn’t make it to Victoria’s birth. It was almost 4am & he waited (about 20 min) for my FIL to come watch the 1st two at home while I drove myself to the hospital. By the time he got there – about 40 minutes after I left – Victoria was already born!
Well I made to all mine…..by the end I was ‘assisting’ the dr in cutting cords and all that….
Involved parent right from the start! 😉
I even tried having the Drs fee reduced since I was doing some of his work, but he just laughed…
LOL 😆