Igor and Svetlana Netface were the only guards on duty in the square.
The last people to inhabit the place were the Bods.
A curious folk all with the same first names and only distinguishable by their unique surnames.
Within each family of Igors and Svetlanas the last names reflected a body part.
Their best friends were Igor and Svetlana Netknee and their best friends were Igor and Svetlana Nettoe.
The Bodies were for the most part a happy and courteous folk.
You may think it potentially unfortunate when you were born and your name was Igor Netpenis or Svetlana Netvagina. But the Bodies were resource and had decided long ago that names could be spelt one way and pronounced another…hence Igor’s brother Netpenis was actually known as Netphalantic with the ‘p’ in this case having a ‘g’ sound.
Svetlana Netvagina’s name was pronounced Netorbs with the ‘v’ in her case sounding like an ‘h’.
It was a dream job they said to each other as they indulged themselves in their packed lunch of sandwiches and milk coffee when all you had to do was turn up each day.