The first challenge:

A stranger rings your door bell “I hate to bother you, but could I come in.” This is the start of a conversation you thought you would never have, it leads to an adventure you thought would never happen.

Most Sunday mornings are quiet in my part of the world. It’s a lazy time, folk sleep in, some garden, there’s always the family packing to get out early for their weekly adventure in the outback or just sit under a tree and look at the scenery.

My day took an unexpected turn when my doorbell rang and there stood the strangest of men. He had a long beard; the bluest of eyes and a smile that captivated me from the word go. And the word was: “I hate to bother you but could I come in?”

No sooner had he said it then the door was open and in he stepped. Next thing I knew we were standing in the kitchen, the kettle boiling and him watching as I poured the boiling water into the teapot.

‘Lovely day,’ he said.

‘Yes beautiful,’ I replied still completely in the dark over what was going on.

‘I’d love a cup of tea,’ he said.

‘Of course,’ I said and poured him a generous cup.

‘I’m God,’ he said.

‘God?’

‘Yes you know omnipotent, everywhere at the same time that sort of thing. Wears me out to be honest.’

I was taken aback I have to say. God in my house? ‘You aren’t lost or anything?’ I asked curious as to why God might choose my house to visit on a Sunday morning. I thought he would be present in each church doing his Godly thing at this time.

‘No not lost, having a sort of time out. I saw that you were just pottering about with no particular goal for your day so I thought I’d pop in and have a cuppa with you. Oh and to answer your last thought I’m really not in church every Sunday, that’s a human thing not mine, I did say to keep holy the Sabbath and all that but that was a suggestion not a rule, you humans take everything literally and I have to say it has tied so many of you in knots.’

‘I tend to think of it as a day of rest.’

‘Good for you, you’re my sort of man after all. Never really intended for you all to be on your knees paying homage on a Sunday. I always thought of Sunday’s as a day to relax and get away from it all not spend hours in a church listening to some self appointed preacher raving about I don’t know what and most times I don’t care.’

‘You aren’t what I imagined God to be you know.’

‘No most people say that. That I’m irreverent, imagine that, God being irreverent, what would the fundamentalists say I wonder. Strike me down in a flash I’d say and then what. ‘God struck down’ the papers would say. Where to from here?’

He sat there sipping on his tea and then asked if he could have one of my fairy cakes that I was keeping for afternoon tea when I was hoping my good friend Louise, the girl of my dreams, might stop by on her daily walk with her dog Doey.

One feels one can’t deny God when he wants a fairy cake so my afternoon tea disappeared down his divine throat.

‘Did you make these cakes?’ he asked.

‘Yes I did.’

‘Delightful.’

‘May I ask a question?’

‘Go ahead. I’m God I know everything.’

‘Is there life after death?’

God stopped his munching, his beard was smeared with fairy cake and cream and he wiped his mouth and looked intently at me.

‘Is it important you know?’

‘Well yes, I often wonder what is the point to all this.’

‘The point? Does there have to be a point?’

‘Well yes otherwise the whole thing of life is meaningless.’

‘Oh I see. Are you a generous person?’

‘I think so. I give to charities, I’m kind to my fellow man.’

‘Good then you are doing ok.’

‘Is that it?’

‘Is what it?’

‘The whole point? Am I good?’

‘Well are you?’

‘Yes!’

‘There you’ve answered the question.’

With that God hopped up from his seat and walked to the front door.

‘You are a good man you know. Most people would have thrown me out by now. There are an awful lot of non-believers out there. It’s frightening at times. Thanks for the cuppa and the cake, I must drop by again some time.’

‘But,’ I stammered, ‘Is that it?’

‘Afraid so,’ he chortled as he reached for the door handle. ‘Believing is what it is all about. If you know for certain then you might begin to take me for granted and that might not be such a good idea. Keep up the good work, and those fairy cakes are simply divine.’

With that he was out the door and off down the front path, a quick turn left and he was round the corner and gone. As I closed my door I did wonder if all that had occurred was a dream.

I sat down at the kitchen bench and pondered what had just happened, it was a most unusual occurrence indeed.

Almost as unusual as the plate of fairy cakes I saw on the bench, the ones I was sure God had just eaten. But these ones had a strange glow about them.

Written for: https://nonsmokingladybug.wordpress.com/2015/08/22/knock-knock-anybody-there/